1 month in of life with Flynn

Flynn is now 1 month old and like with Jasper, it’s flown by. I genuinely can’t believe he was born a month ago 😮 I think the fact that I am currently staying home and caring for both babies is making time pass so quickly… Daily life with a 1 year old and a little baby can be pretty hectic to say the least 😛

Here’s a few things I’ve learned since Flynn made his appearance:

• It is definitely possible to feed two babies at once. It’s funny how you find ways to multi-task when you need to 😛
• There is no better thing in the world for me than watching Jasper with Flynn. He hugs him at least 10 times a day, not exaggerating. He will put his head on Flynn and fetch his dummy for him when he’s upset.
• Toddlers aren’t gentle… at all. As said above, Jasper loves Flynn but he also likes to steal his dummy and try and shove it back in with full force. He finds it acceptable to try and poke Flynn in the eye too.
• Nap time is often the best time of the day. I get a nice 2-3 hours slight peace 🙂 Flynn will nap for some of this time but is awake for the rest. It’s not as much of a challenge to look after just him though.
• Even if you get a lighter double pushchair, they’re still heavy. My arms will be like Popeye’s soon 😛
• People say it’s easier with two and I have to agree. It’s not as much of a shock to the system but it’s certainly 10x more tiring 😛

All in all, it’s been an exhausting but one of the most rewarding months of my life. It’s only going to get better from here on in but there’ll be plenty of bumps along the way 😛

Then and now ❤ 

Why I’m not ashamed of getting a 2.2

Everyone goes to uni intending on achieving at least a 2.1 for their degree or so it seems to me anyway. This is not what I got and I’m actually really pleased with my result. I’d just like to add that I worked out the figures and knew that a 2.1 was highly unlikely so I was just hoping that all would work out and I’d get the 2.2 I needed for starting a PGCE in German with French in September 🙂

A summary of my 4 years at uni:

First year – I was really suffering badly with anorexia at this point and had pretty bad anxiety. It really wasn’t a happy time for me.

Second year – I spent most of the summer before this exercising and recovering from my eating disorder but by the end of the year I had taken my extreme/obsessive behaviour and transferred it to going out and drinking lots instead. This ended up being a not very happy time for anyone around me as they had to deal with my terrible behaviour.

Third year (year abroad) – This year was really a whirlwind. I spent most of it pregnant and living in Germany and just waiting for time to pass. Pretty much everyone knows that I hated my time at Bochum Uni so let’s just leave it at that. It did end on a high when I came back to Newcastle and gave birth to my fav little boy, Jasper. ❤ 

Final year – It’s been a long and busy year. I feel I’ve managed reasonably well juggling having a baby in full-time nursery, being pregnant for pretty much the entire year with my second baby and attempting to not fail miserably at uni. 

My grades have always been up and down at uni. It has honestly just depended on the module e.g. one of my final year modules averaged at 62 whereas another was 48. I’m not consistently good at each thing which has caused my grades to be a bit of a mish-mash.

After 4 tumultuous years, I’ve came out of Newcastle Uni with a 2.2 and an overall grade of 56.1 (so pleased I didn’t scrape it and it’s a pretty comfortable 2.2) with a degree in German as well as having done bits of French and Dutch. I also have a fiance (he’s areet 😛 ), a nearly 14 month old baby and his little brother due 2 weeks tomorrow. I’m able to start my teacher training in September as planned with both babies attending full-time nursery. I may not be amazingly talented when it comes to languages but I’ve tried really hard and am enthusiastic about doing so… That’s what I intend on passing onto the pupils I teach. You don’t need to be the best or even close to that; things don’t have to go to plan; you can have loads of ups and downs and even lose yourself completely for a period of time but you can still achieve what you set out to do. In my case, that’s getting a 2.2 and starting a PGCE… I just happen to have 3 more people along for the ride than I expected 😀

Luke, me, Jasper and bump ❤

Grateful yet frazzled and tired

I’ve been thinking recently and it’s been ages since I wrote a blog post. It’s been so long that I’m now over 6 months pregnant with Jasper’s baby brother. Crazy how time flies 😛

Anyway, the point of this post is to admit to myself that it’s okay to say you’ve had a slightly more difficult day. Nothing of great importance actually happened today but I’ve been noticing recently that the pressure of completing essays, my impending graduation from uni, nearing the later stages of pregnancy and trying to be the best the Mam and partner that I can be is… well, it’s pretty hard. I’m drained, tired, exhausted and various other synonyms but it’s important to take a moment and remember why I’m doing this. 

I want to show Jasper that I did my very best for him. I managed to finish final year whilst he was a baby and spent pretty much all of that academic year pregnant with his baby brother. I only have 2 months and I’m free from uni… Until I go back in September for teacher training 😛 It’s not the easiest trying to do everything and it has been like a balancing act but for the most part I think I’ve managed reasonably well.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to say that you have off days. I love my child more than I can possibly express in words but today I really couldn’t wait for him to take his nap in the afternoon. He’s nearly 1 and requires so much attention which is not the easiest thing to give when you’re trying to write the next point of an essay (1200 words and counting, woo) and also keep the house in order. I even took him to the farm to try and give him a change of scenery but he wasn’t really feeling it as it turned out.

Jasper has now been asleep for about 2 hours and after having part of that time to myself to de-stress, I now can’t wait for him to wake up 😀 (Edit – he woke up about 10 mins before I posted this 🙂 ) Things are occasionally a bit overwhelming but it’s all worth it for him  🙂 ❤

A New Year for Jasper

It’s crazy to think that it’s so close to the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017. Many people have said that 2016 was a terrible year and I can see why but for me personally, it’s been pretty great.

Here’s a list of reasons why:

• I passed my exams at Bochum Uni.
• I finally left Bochum and returned back to Newcastle on Valentine’s Day.
• I had a lovely baby shower. 🙂
• I was ill on my 21st so moving on swiftly..
• We got ready for Jasper’s arrival.
• Jasper was born on May 7th at 00:39 after 23 and a half hours weighing in at a hefty 9lb 2oz. ❤
• We settled into our roles as parents.
• I enjoyed getting to grips with being a new Mam and had a nice 4 and a half months break before going back to uni.
• Luke started working at Asda. 🙂
• Jasper loves nursery and has settled in with no problems. 😀
• I’ve so far survived my first semester of my final year – Just need to get these pesky exams out of the way and onto my last semester. 😛
• Jasper has come on leaps and bounds. He eats loads and can sit up easily. His cheeky personality is really starting to emerge. 😀
• Jasper’s first Christmas. 🙂

All in all, it’s been a really good year but I’m excited to see what 2017 brings. I’m hoping it’ll be just as happy as this year. I’ve got a funny feeling that it’ll be just as memorable 😀 

I hope you all have a lovely New Year’s Eve and a great start to 2017. I’m spending the night in with my boys and it’s 99% likely I’ll be asleep before 12 but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What a difference nearly 8 months makes. So proud of the happy, cheeky boy he’s become. ❤

The challenges of being a student parent

It’s been a long time since I last wrote a blog post and that’s pretty much because I haven’t had the time or the energy. I forgot how exhausting and draining uni can be and it seems that final year is even more intense than expected. This is the subject matter of this post.

I’ve become accustomed to having two sides of myself which I portray on a daily basis. On the one hand, I’m a student trying my best to not fail miserably and actually come out with a reasonable degree at the end of this academic year. On the other hand, I’m a Mam… I have a 7 month old little boy. Once my uni day is done then I automatically switch into parent mode as soon as I get home e.g. am I picking Jasper up from nursery today? Will he be due a feed? Is it my turn to feed/change him? I love the challenge of knowing that I have to be two different people in the space of 24 hours but at the same time if I’m not focusing on uni then I’m looking after Jasper… You don’t really get a break when you’re a parent. Don’t get me wrong, I have offers of help but I don’t like to use them very much because I’m pretty obsessed with my child. I don’t want to share him. 😛

I’m finding that having Jasper and going to uni is manageable. It just takes a bit more determination to get up in the morning. I’m more than happy to get Jasper sorted for nursery but knowing that I actually have to go and use my brain and do things afterwards isn’t my favourite thought at 8:30 in the morning.

There are times like today though when I wish I didn’t have to leave Jasper. I was in uni from 12-5 with a 3 hour break which I used to finish the majority of a translation for a translating/interpreting company. I do a lot of odd jobs now so I can get more money to buy baby things e.g. formula, wipes, nappies etc. Considering the subject matter of the translation (taxes) and the fact that I had to do a mini presentation in Dutch my day actually went reasonably well. I even managed to get Jasper to nap within half hour of getting home and then he went to bed later on with little fuss. This is all well and good but when I was getting comfy and about to go to sleep (I go to bed after 9pm most days because I’m exhausted… Student parent life 😛 ) I realised that I had seen Jasper awake for less than an hour since I brought him home. I appreciate the fact he was well behaved and went to bed as I really didn’t have the energy today but it’s not very nice missing out on quality time with him. Most days aren’t like this but when I do have a rare day when I miss seeing him awake for most of it then I’m obviously not too happy about it.

He is the reason I go to uni, do revision, complete assignments but it’s horrible not being able to see him on occasions like this. I honestly don’t know how parents who work full-time manage it. Luke does 30+ hours most weeks and misses out on a lot… I really couldn’t deal with that right now. Next year I’m probably going to have to but for now, I hate being away from him longer than necessary.

Napping earlier on.

Hungry baby finally gets food

For anyone who knows Jasper well or even just spends a few hours with him it is pretty obvious that he’s a hungry child. Up until about a week ago he would be having a bottle every 3 hours when he was awake :’) So, we decided to start him on food. The only issue is that “health professionals” recommend that you wait until your baby is 6 months. Jasper isn’t 6 months old until 7th November but he was starting to get really fed up of bottles. It’s true that every baby is different… You do what’s best for them. In this case, he needed actual food (well, pureed food but it’s better than nothing 😛 ).

Day 1

It’s usually advised (based on what I’ve been told and various weaning booklets) that babies start with vegetables as it’s not as exciting and sweet as fruit so you gradually build up to it. The nicest vegetable I could think of was carrot so that’s what we gave him. It was lush seeing his little face react to something completely new and he actually enjoyed it. 

Success rating: 9/10 – Good reaction but could’ve been smilier. 😛

Day 2

So this day did not go well… At all. Continuing on with the veggies theme we gave him peas. Jasper does not like peas. The photos pretty much speak for themselves. 

Success rating: 1/10 – He pulled faces instantly, gagged and then projectile vomited everywhere.

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Day 3

After the pea disaster we decided that Jasper deserved a treat therefore we abandoned the veggies and gave him fruit. He had banana and loved it 😀

Success rating: 10/10 – He would’ve happily kept on eating it for ages if we let him but his little baby stomach can only take so much :’)

Day 4

We decided to continue with the sweet theme but gave him a sweet vegetable… Sweet potato. 🙂 This was pretty similar to the carrot in the sense that he liked it but didn’t love it.

Success rating: 8/10 – Pretty positive but as not as enthusiastic as he was with banana.

Day 5

There’s only so much cooking individuals veggies and blending that I can take. It doesn’t sound like a lot but going to uni, preparing bottles, making tea and now Jasper’s food as well as lots of chores takes a lot of effort so on this day Jasper had something already prepared… Banana custard yoghurt. He loved it!

Success rating: 10/10 – As you can see he was really happy and even took the spoon to feed himself :’) He’s a messy eater though 😛

Day 6:

This was a very mixed day. I pureed a mix of carrot, cauliflower and broccoli and Jasper did not like it at all. I felt bad for him so I gave him a strawberry yoghurt and he ate the entire little pot.

Success rating: 6/10 – Mixed veggies didn’t go well but he loved the yoghurt 🙂

Day 7

We were out yesterday and I didn’t take photos of Jasper so eating so this is off this morning. He had baby rice for breakfast 🙂 He wasn’t too fussed initially but ended up enjoying it nearer the end.

Success rating: 8/10 – He enjoyed it in the end 🙂

All in all, it’s been a very interesting week. I love seeing how Jasper reacts to trying different things 🙂 ❤ Sometimes it doesn’t go too well but we’re definitely getting there! Tonight he’ll be having pureed potato 😛

First week back at Uni

I said all the way through my pregnancy that I would be having the baby, looking after him from May until October and then head back to uni for my final year. It seemed so simple in theory but I’m finding out just how much of a challenge it is actually putting that into practice. 

I’ve had my first full week back at uni and all in all, I’d say it’s gone pretty well. No one got hurt so that’s something. 😛 With the positives there have been some negatives though.

Postives

It’s always nice to start out on a good note. :’)

– Going back to uni has given me another focus. That doesn’t mean that I pay any less attention to Jasper obviously. I’m just saying that I have something else which I can dedicate myself to.
– I’ve been able to catch up with people. It’s nice to hear all the year abroad stories even if most people just want to ask about Jasper instead. 😛
– I’ve actually been able to speak German! Not loads so far but it’s only the first week back… They’re easing us into it which is good for me because my German is very rusty to say the least!
– As nerdy as it sounds I’m learning things again. 😀 Having Jasper meant I had to completely change and learn anything and everything about babies. Now, I’m learning about the identity of German people in contemporary Berlin after the reunification, Dutch verbs, linguistic terms that I never knew existed, Education Policy, how to go about translating a text, how to write my opinion concisely… And that’s just this week!
– I appreciate the time I spend with Jasper even more. I can’t see him for several hours at a time; it’s sometimes even all day. I was off uni today but Jasper was in nursery 9-3:30 so I could get some work done. 😦

Negatives

– I see Jasper a lot less than I’m used to. Most days I see him for about 3 hours before he’s asleep and then he’s back at nursery by anywhere between 8 and 11.
– Pretty insignificant but the metros in the morning are awful. :’) People going to work, students, school children… Everyone is out in the morning. Thankfully I only need to get the early metro twice a week. 😛
– I’m absolutely shattered when I’ve had a longer day. I might not be moving about loads but my mind is constantly being used.
– Did I mention that everyone seems to be fluent in German now and I sound like I’m in Year 7? Here’s hoping I improve as I get into the swing of things. 😛

It’s only the first week so I can’t speak for the whole year; I can’t even speak for this semester… What I can say is that if things continue to go the way they are going then I honestly think this year isn’t going to be that bad. That might not sound very positive but I was genuinely dreading coming back.

I’m not expecting to come out of this with that good of a degree classification. I’d be amazed if I get a 2:1. On the plus side, I’ve looked into what I want to do next and all being well I’d like to do a PGCE in German and French at Newcastle Uni and they do accept a 2:2 so all hope isn’t lost. 😀

Plan for the year: Work hard but don’t overwork. Try my best to do as well as I can but not at the expense of my own sanity. At the end of the day, I just want to make Jasper proud. :* ❤

It wouldn’t be my blog if there wasn’t at least one photo of my little friend. This was taken today and he’s actually just turned 5 months old. 😀 ❤

Jasper and his many firsts

I’m not sure why but recently it just seems as though Jasper is growing up a lot and is ceasing to be the teeny tiny little baby he once was. I know that he will obviously age and grow as time progresses but I still find it hard to believe that he is nearly 5 months old. 😮 It seems like he was born only a few weeks ago.

In the last week or so Jasper has experienced a few of his ‘firsts’. The first ‘first’ (:P) was outgrowing the pram. It had become pretty apparent that since he was a fairly long baby  from birth that he wouldn’t last the so-called recommended 6 months before going in the pushchair. Aside from the fact he was becoming too tall for the pram; I was constantly having to pick him up so he could have a look around e.g. on the metro.

Chilling in his big boy pushchair.

The next first which Jasper has experienced recently is transitioning from sleeping in the carrycot of the pram to his actual cot. I was really worried about how he would deal with this. The carrycot is nice and compact and this is meant to be helpful as when babies are first born it reminds them of being in the womb. However, the cot itself is huge for a little baby so I was a bit apprehensive of how he’d manage.

Over the last few weeks Jasper has been sleeping through the night so I was tad worried that moving to the cot might disrupt his sleeping pattern. A standard night for Jasper would be 8/9pm – 7/8am. He would often need changed at about 4/5am as his little nappy can only hold so much. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Jasper adjusted to the cot with no issues. We put him in a grow bag so that he felt comfy and this seemed to work well. He slept from 9pm til 5 am and then got changed before going back to sleep from 5:30 am til 8:45 am. 😀 ❤

Someone was all smiles waking up in his big boy cot for the first time. 

The final first which Jasper has experienced in the last week was his first day at nursery. I knew that he would have no issues starting nursery as he is still so young. I, on the other hand, had been dreading this day since I enrolled him. Every Mam is different but I find that unless I really need a break I would much rather be with Jasper constantly. 😛 This meant that I was very worried about I would deal with him being at nursery for up to 50 hours a week.

I can’t tell you how I’m going to feel about him being there full-time as he only just completed his first day today. What I can say is that although I would’ve quite happily stayed at home and looked after him for this year; I’m pleased that he’s going to get the chance to socialise with other babies and learn lots of new things. It’s also going to be good for me to have something else to focus on – my degree.

All in all, Jasper was at nursery from 9:45am until 3:45pm. He can be in from 8am til 6pm but for the first day I don’t think that’s too bad at all. I’m quite proud of myself that I was able to leave him there for the majority of the day without going back to pick him up after an hour like I actually wanted to. 😛 As soon as I got there he started smiling loads so in a way I think he was pleased to see me. 😀

Before nursery, after nursery and his current state – asleep. 😛

All in all, it’s been a busy week for Jasper and it’s only going to get more hectic. He’ll be at nursery a fair bit, I’ll be at uni a lot and Luke will be at work a decent amount of the time. We’ll all have a lot going on but we’ll make it work. At the end of the day, I’m studying and Luke’s working so we can try and provide Jasper with a better future. It’s not going to be perfect but we’re going to do the best we can for our little boy. ❤

Starting nursery and back to uni

I’ve noticed recently that the days are quickly passing and my return to uni is approaching far too quickly for my liking. On the one hand, I’m looking forward to going back and doing something that’s just for me but at the same time, I can’t imagine not spending all my time with Jasper. He’s attached to my hip (literally) most of the time and the thought of not being with him is not one that I entertain thinking about for too long.

Luke has recently changed jobs so we’ve had to think long and hard about what is the best for Jasper regarding childcare. We’ve decided that we should be able to manage financially with him being at our local (and highly recommended) nursery full-time. This will allow me the time to dedicate to uni without having to constantly worry about when to pick up Jasper. He can be at nursery from 8am-6pm but I plan on spending some time with him when I’m free, as well as doing work at other times. It’s all really awkward because I need to have time to do work but nursery is really expensive; thankfully Student Finance is funding a chunk of it. £197 a week without the funding!

Finance aside I’m nowhere near ready to go back to uni full-time and have Jasper in nursery but I’ve got no choice. I’ve got one year left at uni… I need to finish and then hopefully get on the course to do my PGCE at Uni. I’d like to go into teaching but if that doesn’t work out then the job market it is. 😛 This was always the plan but now it’s even more important so that I can try and provide for Jasper as best as I can. He’s going to the best nursery in the area so that’s a start. 🙂

Approx a year ago, I found out I was pregnant. Since then, I’ve lived in Germany for approx 5/6 months and in that time I’ve been sacked and attended a uni. I’m now getting ready to go back to uni full-time. Luke wasn’t working at that time and now he’s working part-time in Hebburn after having switched from a job in Town. Jasper was a mere pip and now he’s a healthy 4 month old baby boy. Funny how life works out, isn’t it? ❤

Then. 

Now.

Jasper aged 3 and a half months

I was just thinking today how quickly the time has flown by since Jasper was born. It’s already been 3 and a half months! It’s crazy how much he has grown up in just a few months. It’s hard to imagine what life was like without him, really.

Here are a few points of how he’s changed in his 3 and a half months of life:

• He’s really alert and is always looking around now. So much so that when we’re on the metro he pretty much always sits on my knee so he can have a look at everyone.
• He smiles all the time. His gummy little smile is the cutest thing and you can’t help but smile too!
• When he lies on his tummy (‘tummy time’) he tries to push forward but he can’t go anywhere just yet. Bless him
• He’s started sleeping better on a night time. He’s slept through the whole night a few times. Generally, he tends to sleep for much longer periods now.
• I find it much easier to know what he needs now e.g. I can tell when he needs fed or is just tired.
• He recognises voices.
• He rubs his eyes when he’s tired.
• He tries to hold his bottle when he’s getting fed.
  

  

  

Happy, holding his bottle and tummy time. 

All in all, it’s only been 3 and a half months but it seems like so much longer! My little baby boy has grown a lot already and is going to keep growing and developing. Before you know it he’ll be eating proper food, walking and talking. Not only do I love him, but I love the fact that I get to experience and shape his journey from childhood to adulthood.

 Then and now.